my chemical romance--im not okay

Well if you wanted honesty, that's all you had to say.
I never want to let you down or have you go, it's better off this way.
For all the dirty looks, the photographs your boyfriend took,
Remember when you broke your foot from jumping out the second floor?

I'm not okay.
I'm not okay.
I'm not okay.
You wear me out.

What will it take to show you that it's not the life it seems?
(I'm not okay)
I told you time and time again you sing the words but don't know what they mean
(I'm not okay)
So be a joke and look, another line without a hook
I held you close as we both shook for the last time take a good hard look!

I'm not okay.
I'm not okay.
I'm not okay.
You wear me out.

Forget about the dirty looks
The photographs your boyfriend took?
You said you read me like a book, but the pages are all torn and frayed

I'm okay.
I'm okay!
I'm okay, now
(I'm okay, now)

But you really need to listen to me
Because I'm telling you the truth
I mean this, I'm okay!
(Trust Me)

I'm not okay
I'm not okay
Well, I'm not okay
I'm not o-f*cking-kay
I'm not okay
I'm not okay
(Okay)

If youd look inside a girl's heart youd see how much she really cries .. youll find secrets hidden, best friends and lies. But what youll see the most is how hard it is to stay strong when nothings right and everythings wrong<--- VeRy TrUe! <3--BrAnDy!!

A decade under the influence

Sad, small, sweet, so delicate
We used to be this dying breed
I got a bad feeling about this
I got a bad feeling about this

You kept still until the long drive home
You slept safe and close to the window...
I got a bad feeling about this
I got a bad feeling about...

Who's to say you'll have to go (I could go all night)
Well say you'll have to go (I could go all...)
To hell with you and all your friends
To hell with you and all your friends, it's on

Sad, small, sure in porcelain
You're skin and bones, I'm a nervous wreck
I got a bad feeling about this (when it comes to this)
I got a bad feeling about this

You kept still until the long drive home
You slept safe and close to the window
I got a bad feeling about this
I got a bad feeling about...

Who's to say you'll have to go (I could go all night)
Well, say you'll have to go (I could go all...)
To hell with you and all your friends
To hell with you and all your friends, it's on

I got a bad feeling about this (what is this for?)
I got a bad feeling about...

Anyone will do tonight
Anyone will do tonight
Close your eyes, just settle, settle
Close your eyes, just settle, settle
Anyone will do tonight
Anyone will do tonight
Close your eyes, just settle, settle
Close your eyes, just settle, settle
Anyone (anyone) will do tonight
Anyone (anyone) will do tonight
Close your eyes, just settle, settle
Close your eyes, just settle, settle

Well I got a bad feeling about this,
I got a bad feeling about this (to hell with you and all your friends, it's on).
I'm coming over but it never was enough
I thought it through and my worst brings out the best in you
Well I got a bad feeling about this
I got a bad feeling about this (to hell with you and all your friends, it's on)
I'm coming over but it never was enough
I thought it through and my worst brings out the best in you
Well I got a bad feeling about this
I got a bad feeling about this (to hell with you and all your friends, it's on)
I'm coming over but it never was enough,
I thought it through and my worst brings out the best in you
Well I got a bad feeling about this,
I got a bad feeling about this (in you...).
I'm coming over but it never was enough,
I thought it through and my worst brings out the best in you
I got a bad feeling about this,
I got a bad feeling about this (in you...).
I'm coming over but it never was enough
I thought it through and my worst brings out the best in you
I got a bad feeling about this,
I got a bad feeling about this,
I got a bad feeling about this (I am you)
I got a bad feeling about this (I am you)
I got a bad feeling about this (I am you)
I got a bad feeling about this (I am you)
I got it bad (I am you)
I got it bad
I got it bad
I got it bad
I got it bad
I got it bad

BreakAway

Grew up in a small town
And when the rain would fall down
I just stared out my window
Dreaming of what could be
And if I'd end up happy
I would pray (I would pray)

Trying not to reach out
But when I'd try to speak out
Felt like no one could hear me
Wanted to belong here
But something felt so wrong here
So I pray (I would pray)
I could breakaway

I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly
I'll do what it takes til' I touch the sky
I'll make a wish
Take a chance
Make a change
And breakaway
Out of the darkness and into the sun
But I won't forget all the ones that I loved
I'll take a risk
Take a chance
Make a change
And breakaway

Wanna feel the warm breeze
Sleep under a palm tree
Feel the rush of the ocean
Get onboard a fast train
Travel on a jet plane, far away (I will)
And breakaway


Buildings with a hundred floors
Swinging around revolving doors
Maybe I don't know where they'll take me but
Gotta keep moving on, moving on
Fly away, breakaway

I'll spread my wings
And I'll learn how to fly
Though it's not easy to tell you goodbye
I gotta take a risk
Take chance
Make a change
And breakaway
Out of the darkness and into the sun
But I won't forget the place I come from
I gotta take a risk
Take a chance
Make a change
And breakaway, breakaway, breakaway

WELLL HELLO!! im bored and since I haven't written in here in FOREVER!! i figured I would. I've been so busy with school and stuff .. the teachers assign like SOOOOOOOOOOOOO much homework everynight .. ITS CRAZZYYYY!! Of course I've been actually doin pretty good with rememberin my homework and actually doin it haha .. unlike last year. But gosh I've been so TiReD!! and ill go to bed at like 9:30 every night .. its crazyness!! HmM .. what to talk about .. well last weekend was my mom's 40th BdAY .. and I couldnt do anything last weekend since yeahh it was her weekend off .. so we went out to eat at the casino and in there gift shop was this stuffed animal COW!! i wanted it so bad .. but mother wouldnt get it for me :( so I drove home and that was that .. Nothin really important has been happeneing .. i've just been on the phone alot with chris lewis :) OF COURSE!! Back to school though .. i swear it seems like everyday I have some kinda test or quiz .. and OMG the dress code is outta control and VERY stupid .. but my mother said we might go shopping sometime for some more clothes so i can fit the dress code and all and wont get detention where ill have to wake up EXTRA early and be in detention at 7 A.M. .. that freakin early as mess!!! but thats all .. ill try to write more than i have been .. but if not OH WELL! WHO CARES! LaTeR <3-BrAnDy! :)

The first day of school was today ... upside--i got to see all my friends .. downside-- its school and its boring haha .. OH WELL haha got up about 6ish this morning and got ready and talked to chris lewis a bit before school then texted him on the wayy so got to school and there was like a load of people there .. the line was like freakin long as mess!! haha and kel waited on me YAY haha .. so got there and walked in the gym and sat there and all and we all met the new princpal and the million other new teachers. Then after the meeting went to 1st period which we just sat there and talked and crap. and me and kel hardly have any classes together :( ... it sucks! then went to all the classes and crap and met the teachers .. we didnt do anything but talk and fill out these stupid forms about ourselves and shiz! and me and cody only have 1 class together and we dont even have break or lunch together :( its sad i know ... and i couldn't get any service to text chris lewis ... awww it sucked!! but then 6th came and me and kel and some other people sat outside and me and kel talked for like EVER then went to 7th haha .. which the teacher is tryin to kick me and kel outta there .. MEANY!!! only bc we've already taken that class BUT i didn't get credit for it which sucks!!! and GOH i was like starving ALLLLLLLL freakin dayyy long!! so school FINALLY got out and Mr. Doug came up and stole some of his pretzels which i didn't eat bc my cousin and sister stole em all .. then drove home called chris lewis did the dishes and thats MY DAYYYYYYYY!! .. boring yes i know!! LATERRRR!

WELL... yesterday was a BLAST! haha .. i woke up about 7:45 and took a shower and got ready and all that great stuff .. then i called chris lewis and talked to him for about 20 or 30 minutes then had to go and texted him some .. so I went to the dentist which is NEVER fun!!! My appointment was at 10 BUT i didnt get in there till like 10:30 and they gave me 2 freakin shots :( which hurt like a mo!!! so i layed there awhile and accidently fell asleep then it was like 11:15 and chris lewis called and he was there and i was like holy mess they havent even started!! haha .. so after that they finally started and crap and got finished around 12 and walked out and chris lewis was asleep haha .. so woke him up and went to Chik*Fil*a of course i couldn't eat :( which i was starving!! but then left and went to Music Go Round .. which i've never been in there before soo i guess it was cool?? Me and Chris LEWIS just sat around .. then after like what seemed FOREVER we left and i forgot my cellular in there so had to turn around and all that mess :-/ .. then left and went to some skateboard thing .. which ive never been to either haha .. it was neat i guess .. yet VERY expensive. So left there and went to North Park and me and chris lewis kinda had an argument BUT worked it out :) which was GREAT! hehe .. so after that went to Journey's and got him some shoes .. which i LOVE!! and then went to American Eagle and got him some pants .. haha and while he was in the dressin room tryin em on .. i saw somethin i REALLY didnt wanna see haha .. gosh it was so gross i dont wanna think about it so left there and went to Hot Topic and he got a green shirt which is soooooooooooooo cute!! and some RUDE girl like ran chris lewis over .. i was about to do the same to her but she moved :-/ .. that biatch!! then left there and went to his house and stayed there awhile .. and watched the Ashlee Simpson Show .. even though i had seen that episode a million times. then left there and went to his church and they all stood up and said somethin about the trip they went on and awwww chris lewis' was soo good! i loved it! hehe .. so after that we left and went to some indian resturant .. which was soooooooo nasty! of course me and chris lewis shared what we ordered and it looked like a subway sorta but it was ok.. everyone elses looked soooooo nastyy!! so left after that and went back to his house and then his dad took me home and got home around 11 or so .. UGH but school starts tomorrow :( which that sucks sooooo freakin bad bc this summer has really sucked i havent done hardly anything only thing that didnt suck was when i was with chris lewis :) thats ALWAYS fun!!! but anyways im gonna go LATER <3

Its been forever it seems .. anyways SO HERES MY WEEKEND/ WEEK since FriDay! --So Friday got up and went and picked my sister up from Camp and all and watched this lil show they put on? So went to her cabin and saw Andre!! She has grown soooooooo much!! I've missed her! Shes GREAT!!! so anyways got outta there and went to the bank then the metro and got some TaCo BeLL!! it was soo good! then went shopping and got some cute shirts and skirt!! Then we came home and dropped Sam off and left again and went to Vicksburg and went shoppin over there a lil. And got some pants and a REALLY cute skirt! i LOVE it!! and ChriS LEWIS called and i talked to him for a bit and then he got mad? or somethin like that but continued shopping and then i wanted some green converses SOOOOOO BAD!! so we went all over vicksburg lookin for them but failed at that .. so we got home around 8ish and i was soo tired and i talked to chris lewis a bit and was mad at him .. LONNNNNGGG story but anyways everything is ok now :) so went to bed early that night. Then woke up SaT. and layed around a bit and got here and talked to chris lewis then had to go and get ready and went with my mom to ridgeland to the medical store thingy for my GmA then went the shoe gallary .. they have the CUTEST stuff in there and my mom got some REALLY cute flip flops! I wanted this purse but unfortunately i couldn't talk my mom into it :( BUT i did get a Betty Boop purse I LOVE IT! so left there and went lookin for some green converses again .. BUT didnt find them again .. so went to clinton to get an inspection sticker for my mom's car and went to hibbetts and they had my green converses!! AND MY SIZE FINALLYY!! i was soo excited i wore them outta the store. Then we went to Wendy's to eat .. I was starving soo bad! and my mom saw her friend .. iuno who he was but w/e they talked for forever and then we went to Kroger's and met lisa, tori, and troy there and headed home after that .. and just kinda went crazy at my house! I was soooooooo hyper!!! We went swimming and all and just had soo much fun and watched EuroTrip for the 329584981308 time! and stayed up till about 3 in the morning. So sunday i woke up about 10ish and layed around with Lisa and them for a lil bit then went upstairs and took a shower and was tryin to get ready but Lisa kept assigning chores for all of us :-/ ... then finally dryed my hair and put my makeup on and talked to chris lewis a bit and packed. So after we all packed the car and i got off the phone with chris lewis and we all piled in the car and went to my gma's in ackerman .. which is like 2 hours away. I like texted all the wayy there haha .. OH and in canton we were at bumpers to get lisa a sweet tea and i told the girl i wanted some sparkly hat thingy! LUCKY ME got it hahaha .. and at the time we were talkin about doin a chinese fire drill at a red light .. well no one was expectin it but we stopped and i yelled red light and jumped out the car and ran around the car by myself without any shoes .. and my sparkly hat on haha .. my mom and them were rollin .. and GOSH that concrete was freakin hott at mess!! so i got back in and closed the door and i looked out the window and there were people laughin there butts off haha .. it was soo funny and FUNNN!! so we finally got my gma's at like 5:30 or so and sat around a lil awhile then i talked lisa into lettin me drive us to lousiville and rents some movies so drove there and them girls were just mean as mess! i didn't like them AT ALL!! UGH so we were leavin and Lisa decides she needs some cigarettes haha so we drove like a lil ways down the road to a gas station and i saw some people come out the store with "Spanky's" shirts on and i wanted one soooooo freakin bad .. turns out they worked there so i had to settle for a "spanky" lighter instead and got a pic on my phone camera with me by the sign haha .. its GREAT so headed home and texted a lil to chris lewis and called him and talked to him awhile then let him go and watched the movies .. well one of em haha .. then chris lewis called back and we talked a lil while then texted awhile and then it started screwin up STUPID PHONE! so i used tori's while she talked on mine to her b/f... then we went inside and had to go to sleep early so we could get up early and take a shower and go to gizer falls .. WHOOO!! so got up at 6:45 monday morning and took a shower and then ate breakfast and layed around a bit and started packin up a lil bit and put my stuff back in the car and then watched tv a bit then we were forced to pack everything for the rents and put it in the car and crap .. then i had to sit in the wayy back all stuffed back there and it pissed me off sooo freakin bad .. BUT i talked to chris lewis about it and he calmed me down and i was better :) So we are like 2 minutes from Gizer Falls and we stop and get some Pepsi's so we can get $5 off the regular price haha the line was sooooooo long!! but finally got in and went everywhere and rode slides and the lazy river which i found CHEWED GUM in EWWWWWWWWW!!! so we all started gettin hungry and we went and ate at the Hard Rock Cafe .. and waited for like an hour to be seated .. BUT we just swam around in their pool thingy and layed out a lil and then we were seated and crap and we singing to the songs and were just goin crazy .. the food took FOREVER .. and i had drank like 3 mountain dews!! so by the time i got my food i wasnt all that hungry anymore and my mom kinda got mad about that bc that place is exspensive! so then we went to the lazy river again and floated around then went to the beach thingy and layed out for iuno how long .. then we had to go and watch the rents stuff so went and layed out in there place and talked to the lifeguard a lil haha even though the sign said "DO NOT DISTURD THE LIFEGUARD" haha .. OH WELL so the place was about to close so we went and rode some slides and then left and went to the casino and me and troy went crazyyy haha they had an arcade and everything so me and troy put our tickets together and he got this laser thingy and i got this pencil thingy and this cute candle .. then my mom took us to this golf ball lookin thing .. it was sooo neat!!!!! so we just goofed around a lil till Lisa got through then we headed on home and that was that .. i got home and i called chris lewis and talked to him a pretty good while :) then got off and i was out! haha .. then Tuesday i woke up and sat around and ate a lil and all .. then had to go and get ready bc i had to go and get a physical :( ... so Lisa and them left while i was in the shower then we left for the DoCtOr .. and i might have to get glasses haha ..AND i had to get a techa Shot <--SpElliNg?? which afterwards it hurt like a mo! then we went to WaL*Mart and got my brother and sister's school supplies and that was pretty much that day. but i think ive written enough ahah <3-ME-